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Thursday, November 04, 2010
(i think i shall post on monthly basis)

I can't seem to find the urge to write anymore.
Here, have a poem.

My Favourites.

my favourite flavour,
is my favourite colour,
sometimes a flower,
at odd hours.

my favourite weather,
is not the fairer,
i like the cold rather,
though it doesnt make you better.

my favourite person,
now have elsewhere to turn,
while my heart burns,
and my eye tears,
i remember the years,
i remember her cheers.

Last week, there were 2 people in my department, now, there is only one, me. You would think the title as sexy as "Financial Engineer" would make people keep the job but turns out money still wins. I spend the first night after she left in tears. Blame me for being a girl, but when all you do in the office is talk to one of the best people you would ever meet in your life, you really miss them when they're gone.

Posted at 01:58 am by baz
Comment     Categories: oh life, rhymes

Saturday, September 04, 2010
ramadhan 1431/20

it's either just how the weather should be today, or all the angels are making their way back to the heavens, because there's no sun outside right now. if lailatul qadar was last night, i think i might have had one of the worst ramadhan this year.

semalam aku khatam quran, tafsir sebenarnya, sebab tahun ni ingatkan nak faham maksud sekali selain daripada baca surah; tapi separuh je, sebab mula daripada juz 15 masa mula hari tu. lepas habis surah an-nas, ingatkan nak solat hajat, tapi mengantuk, pastu malas, terus pegi tido. pkul 1130 malam kot, raudzah call tanya pasal haniza. patutnya time tu boleh bangun solat kejap. tapi tak...terus tido balik. bila bangun balik dah masa sahur.

but i digress. though not entirely, as my feelings are akin to the gloomy sounds of this song that i am currently listening on loop.

but i have learnt a thing or two this ramadhan, and the one that stood out is this:
there are 4 rukun 'qali during solat (mesti disebut, didengar oleh diri sendiri) which are:
1) the first takbiratul ihram. ALLAHUAKBAR must be clear and complete.
2) al-fatihah in every rakaat.
3) the verses of tahiyat awal in tahiyat akhir. the rest are sunat.
4) the first salam.

who knows what's going to happen after the ramadhan. will i continue going to the mosque? will i continue with the first 15 juz of the tafsir? will i be a better person?

the bad news is i am already in too deep with sherlock, sherlock holmes the book, and the london trip. the attention i put in those compared to the attention i have for ramadhan is humiliating.

Posted at 11:13 am by baz
Comment     Categories: @Allah, oh life

Monday, July 19, 2010
while listening to reza salleh's myspace

reza salleh's myspace

does it makes you feel better?

when they stroke your ego,
and say the right things,
when they never say no,
and anything you want, they bring.

even when it's all in your head,
and it never leaves your bed,
does it make you feel better?
do you think that's great?

snap out of it dear,
and start living this life,
for everything that you think you hear,
are all lies,
they're only voices in your head love,
a figment of your imagination,
the sooner you see that,
the faster you learn.

Posted at 08:16 pm by baz
Comment     Categories: oh life, random, rhymes

Saturday, June 26, 2010
personality test - the kind that i like

answer it here

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Posted at 02:52 am by baz
Comment     Categories: random

Thursday, June 24, 2010
second week of june 2010

this particular week needs to be chronicled somehow.

monday: deathly hallows trailer
i started the week knowing that the teaser trailer for the first part of the last harry potter movie will be revealed during mtv movie awards, what i did not foresee was, how devastated i was after i saw it, which reflected to the fact that my colleague had to pick up my slack throughout the day at work that day.

wednesday: glee season 1 finale
i have been religiously downloading glee episodes basically mere minutes after it is aired in the US for the past few months, aside from illegally obtaining the soundtrack minutes after it is on iTunes and proceeded with listening to the songs non stop so tell me, what do i do now? what i do now that there's nothing whatsoever to look forward to during the week?

thursday: braces day
i wasn't that nervous really. i know it was going to be painful so i'm prepared for that, and to be honest i was too tired to care. with the potter trailer and glee finale, tumblr was so crazy i stayed all night to join in the fun. i was so tired, i fell asleep as the dentist was putting the braces on. she pinched my jaw several time to ask me to shift my head left and right a bit, but other than that she let me sleep. looking back, that was really nice of her.

friday night: the what-ifs
what if i didn't go to melaka for hazwani's convocation thus would still be awake that time? what if they showed the france-uruguay match on tv and my sister is watching it downstairs by herself? what if there wasn't any match and she fell asleep in front of the tv by herself anyway? then maybe the burglar wont get into the house that night. but nonetheless he got in, but everybody is ok.
nut then again, my other sister still wont sleep alone in her room, and i feel like the house was raped somehow..maybe we're not that a-ok after all.

saturday: hazwani's convocation (CONGRATS DEAR!)
i hate convocations. it reminds me to mine, where i forgot to book us a place to stay, which prompted my parents to sleep in my friend's car because my mom was afraid to sleep in the surau by herself. while i'm happily sleeping with my friend on a nice bed. i shall never forgive myself.


'twas an eventful week. it was like a PMS of emotions. but i was just sad throughout the week, rather than angry and moody.

but saying that is not fair. because i remember grinning while the video of the trailer was starting and during that time hazwani was on the stage holding her medal while smiling at the camera man, so perhaps it wasn't that bad of a week after all.

Posted at 12:59 am by baz
Comment     Categories: random

Sunday, June 06, 2010
i am getting braces

though at the age of 25, i'm probably too old. too late to turn back now, i've already had 3 teeth taken out. getting wired this coming thursday.

which means i dont want to wear specs anymore. already i'm wearing tudung, now getting permanent pieces of metal wires on my teeth, a spectacle will be overcrowding my face i think. so goodbye glasses of 6 months age. i'll still wear you at home though. hope to get contacts tomorrow.

i just know i'll have problems with contact lenses. i think my eyes are kinda dry, and my eyelashes tends to fall off like rain, but you've got to try it first i think.

i also have lost my phone for about, i cant remember, 2 months now? and, i really dont care to buy another one, but everybody seems to want me too. i think, that's precisely the reason why i dont want to get another phone, being the rebel that i am.

also i am insanely addicted to glee. period.

this post was not intended to exist. hello bloggy sorry i have been neglecting you, so this was just a little update.

Posted at 05:59 am by baz
Comment     Categories: random

Monday, April 26, 2010
dear self

you're not getting anything until you buy the london tickets.


Posted at 02:57 pm by baz
Comment     Categories: random

Monday, March 29, 2010
the thing about rupert grint for me..

i'm single, and have been for a long time. and most of the time, i'm ok with that. i'm practically married to work, a lot of ppl have called me workaholic, and i'm so very ok with that. i just recently lost my phone, and i dont feel like buying a new one, because i dont want anybody contacting me so i can focus on my work.

so yeah, most of the time, i'm ok with being single, workaholic, and a recluse, then…then i go on tumblr, and i see a pic of rupert grint, and i feel so…lonely. not to sound ridiculous but when i see him, he reminds me of the things that i thought i dont miss. is that stupid?

i love everything about him. the eye bag, the stubble, the messy thick hair. the fact that he's shy and quiet, that's obvious from any interviews. i love that he's a hard worker, and he takes his job seriously. he loves his family and he likes to buy weird stuff. but he's also just a normal person. he likes golf and travelling and other little things.

i guess he reminds me a lot, of me. and that makes me a bit sad.

Posted at 02:31 pm by baz
Comment     Categories: harry potter, love?, oh life, random

Sunday, March 14, 2010

it started with a wishful thinking here, with a comment from Raudzah saying she wants to go too; then recently Raudzah said she has friends there that we can hopefully crash with; then we went to Matta Fair last friday and BAM, guess what friends?


ok granted we hvnt bought the flight tickets, we only have a vague idea of what to do and where to go, m scared the person who we'll be crashing with might just throw us out of the house after 2 days AND i dont think i can eat for the next few month to save up, but as the saying goes: "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" right? so we'll take it easy, plan as we go, and hopefully we can get the best rates ever, and have an even more greater time when we're there.

anyhow, what we have now, is a date. the harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1 the movie premier is on 19th Nov 2010, so we've set the date around that. there's no confirmation that that's a set date, however; but that's the best that we can work with, and if the premier happens faster or later than the time we're there, oh well, that's just too bad for us.

so, here's to hoping that it all works out. m so excited i made a tumblr for it haha!

Posted at 10:04 pm by baz
Comment     Categories: out and about

Thursday, February 11, 2010
so long

no, not so long, farewell. i cant say farewell to blogging, i like it too much. hey blog, i think you're one thing i know im going to keep online. i dont go friendster anymore, and facebook has started to lose it's appeal, i mean, sure we're friends on fb, but it seems we always avert each other's eyes when we meet in real life, so what's the point? and tumblr, oh yes dearjkr is my number 1 addiction, and i guess i'll keep that, at least until i dont like harry potter anymore. and hmnn, i dont think that's ever gona happen.

lately i seem to refuse to sleep. i want to blame it on tumblr, cz the time m supposed to be sleeping m on tumblr, but the truth is, i just cant seem to want to sleep. when i tell my colleague this, they say maybe i shud cut down my time in front of the computer, they say the glare and the wave from the pc can disturb sleep, but deep down i know, i dont want to sleep...because i dont want to wake up. not that not sleeping would make it any different, because m already up, but at least, i dont get that feeling that i hv to stop sleeping. because when i finally sleep it feels too tiring to wake up.

does that even make sense? whatever.

the latest american idol, season 9 (i think) is on tv, they're now on hollywood week. i really like hollywood week. during this week the cut all the background story, at least they dont show as much, and all there are are the singing. it's on the big stage, so u can see who can handle the pressure that comes with it, but it's still intimate, because there's no audience yet. there's only you, and other ppl who hv the same dreams as you do, hoping they can do good, trying to dispel the insecurities of wondering whether you're any good in the first place.

it's so easy when you're not out there in the big world yet. when all you need to do is strive the hardest. not to impress, not to compete. you just do it, to prove to yourself, that YOU CAN do it. but i guess when ppl see that you can do it, it's a different ball game. then come expectations, then come the need to match that expectation, then comes the need to be better than THAT.

things were so simple back then.

with that i say my parting words, with this song that's stuck in my head,
"RAH² AH³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + GA² + OOH(LA)²".

it feels like everything is a bad romance now.

Posted at 11:33 pm by baz
Comment     Categories: oh life

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